Many people facing the end of their lives have a strong need to reach out to those they’ve loved. In our modern age, we have vastly more options to do that than we ever did before, even if it’s too difficult for family and loved ones to travel, or you don’t have the energy to have long visits with those you care for.
We’ve put together some of the options that some people use in order to close those emotional loops and make their peace with what comes next.
Letters and Emails
For centuries, those who knew that their lives were coming to an end have chosen to write letters that could be sent to those who they loved after they had passed on. There’s something beautiful about having a tangible reminder from those who’ve passed on, and many people kept those sorts of missives as tributes and memorabilia, to be revisited when they wanted to feel close.
But not everyone is comfortable with the written word, making this an imperfect solution for some people.
Skype, or Other Video Chat Programs
To say goodbye to those who live farther away, and can’t travel due to their own health or family situations, Skype is now useable on most phones, tablets, and laptops. If you’re not familiar with the software, it’s like a phone call with a video component, so that you can see the person you’re speaking to. Many families living far apart use it to keep in touch.
Visiting Friends and Family
Depending on a variety of factors, some people choose to surround themselves with family as their medical team focuses on palliative care. Others choose to keep a calmer environment, feeling that people “staring” at them at all times is uncomfortable. Ultimately, it’s up to you to choose how to move forward at this point, but making sure that you’re clear about what you want and why can help avoid hurt feelings and upset.
Some people choose to have specific hours where people can visit them; some choose to ask friends or family to call and make arrangements to visit to avoid having too many people in a room at once. If your palliative care is being delivered at home by Yellow Door Care, communicate with our staff to let them know what you want and need to feel peaceful.
Making Amends
When you know that your life is going to come to an end, you might feel a great push to right wrongs and make amends. This can be another situation where getting in touch with people from your past can help you feel a sense of closure as you move on. You have to be careful making amends, however. Not everyone may feel comfortable with your urge to say that you’re sorry, and it’s important to be respectful of other peoples’ feelings in these situations.
Passing on Important Possessions
It may be a collection of special books, a particular medal or certificate, or something that wouldn’t have meaning to anyone other than yourself. While it may be far too overwhelming to go through everything you own, taking the time to pass on a few special items may both help you find peace with your palliative care situations, as well as creative wonderful moments with those that you’ll be leaving behind.
Choosing to end aggressive medical treatment and move towards palliative care can be difficult, both for you and for your family. By being deliberate about your choices and taking good care of your emotions, as well as those surrounding you, it’s possible to create a calm and loving transition out of this life.
